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  • Self-coaching: the way forward

    Self-coaching: the way forward

    Continuing my short series on self-coaching, we move from generating options and ideas to choosing and planning a path forward.

    In the last post, I offered several different ideas for exploring ways to achieve your goal. You may now have one clear solution or several options. This step in the process now calls for not only creating an action plan but also a commitment check.

    Way forward questions

    Some questions that might help you here are:

    1. What approach are you going to take to achieve your goal?
    2. What have you done already?
    3. What is the first step you need to take? How will you do that?
    4. On a scale of one to 10, how likely is your plan to succeed? What would it take to make it a 10?
    5. How will you know you have been successful?
    6. What might get in your way?
    7. Who or what can help you?
    8. What will you do today?
    9. What happens if you don’t do this plan?
    10. On a scale of one to 10, how committed are you to this plan? What would it take to make it a 10?

    GROW coaching model

    Some people might recognised this approach I have outline as the GROW model, developed by performance coach John Whitmore in the 1980s. It’s a simple model: Goal, Reality, Options, Will/Way forward = GROW. And a useful framework for helping find solutions to problems or opportunities.

    Read the book: Coaching for Performance

    Getting SMART

    Now is the time to get specific. Articulate clear steps of what you will do by when, and who or what else is needed to accomplish each step – this could be a person, money, equipment, permits etc. Taking a realistic look at how long each task might take is key to ensuring you don’t become discouraged. Identifying the right next step and having some small actions you can take right away will give you a sense of accomplishment and being started on the journey.

    This is the time to think beyond the ‘to do’ list. Create a plan with headings of What, Who, By When, Resources Needed – and schedule these dates in your diary. Make sure you block out time to do these actions, and create a regular slot each week to review your progress and replan. Most of all, give yourself some small rewards for completing key tasks each week, and plan for a big reward or celebration when your goal is met.

    Next time, we’ll explore other ways to increase your chances of success.

    #selfcoaching #pauseandbreathe #reflect #fiveminutefocus #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching #selfcoachingtools #coachingtoolbox #coachingtools #wellbeing #selfcare #lifeworkbalance #balancecoaching #solutionsfocused #mentoring #mindfulleadership #personaldevelopment #mindfulnesstips #justbreathe #dothework #emotionalintelligence #meantalhealthtips #mentoring #scotlandsmallbusiness #edinburghbloggers #edinburghbusiness

  • Self-coaching: creating options

    Self-coaching: creating options

    So you know where you’re heading (Goal), you know where you’re starting from (Reality) and you know what you believe and what you’re good at (Values, Beliefs, Strengths). Now it’s time to consider your options …

    Some obvious ideas may have emerged while you were exploring what you’ve done so far, or when you first contemplated your goal. And it can be helpful to generate as many ideas as possible so you can have the widest number of options to choose from before you plot your path forward.

    As you uncover more possibilities, so too you might identify more people who could help you, some quicker wins and even some unanticipated benefits.

    There are lots of different ways to generate ideas – and here is a chance to get really creative and have fun. Some of the techniques I use with clients include:

    Brainstorming

    Put each new idea (however out there) on a different post it note. Afterwards group and prioritise. Give yourself ten minutes and keep asking “What else?”

    Free writing

    Take five or ten minutes, starting with the phrase “To achieve my goal, I could …” and continuing to write whatever comes to mind. As one idea dries up, add in the phrase “Or I could …” and keep going.

    Mind mapping

    This is great if you prefer a more graphical approach. Start with a word or phrase that captures your goal and then write ideas you associate with reaching the goal connected with a line. Then write anything else that comes to mind, creating connections to the goal or to one of the ideas already generated.

    Friendly advice

    What would you advise a friend to do if they wanted to achieve a similar goal? Write a text to them with some ideas. When you dry up, use the question “What else”

    Visualisation

    Also knowns as the miracle question. Imagine you go to sleep tonight and when you wake up in the morning a miracle has happened and you’ve achieved your goal.

    What’s the first thing you notice that tells you things are different? What would you see? What’s happening around you? How would you tell your partner or colleagues that things are different?

    Now take pen and paper and spend three minutes writing down what you saw, what you’re doing that’s different, what did you do to create this success?

    Daydream in silence

    Set a timer for 4 minutes and hold a question in your mind. Something like: “What could I do to achieve my goal?” And then just think about the possible answers. Maintain your silence but feel comfortable looking around your space or out a window or pace – whatever is helpful for your thinking process. Return to the question or think “What else?” if you dry up. Once the timer goes off, briefly capture the most relevant or exciting ideas you came up with.

    What would your hero do?

    Think about someone you admire – a world figure, business leader, celebrity or even a colleague or family member. What do you think they would do in these circumstances? Or perhaps you know someone who has already achieved a goal similar to the one you are pursuing. What can you learn from the things they tried?

    More ideas

    Other activities could include asking a friend to listen while you brainstorm – they don’t need to say anything except to encourage you to keep thinking (“What else?”).

    You could also role play, alternating between being current you and future you or current you and someone you trust. The idea is simply to continue generating as many options as possible, nothing is too ‘out there’.

    Questions to support exploring options

    • What options do you have to reach this goal?
    • What approaches have you tried or seen in similar situations?
    • What else might you do?
    • If money (or time) was no object, what would you do?
    • What is the right thing to do?
    • What would you do differently if you could start again?
    • If you had more confidence and energy, what could you do?
    • If you wanted another suggestion or option, who could you ask?

    It’s worth staying with this topic a little longer than you feel comfortable doing as that’s often when the most interesting ideas emerge. 

    #selfcoaching #pauseandbreathe #reflect #fiveminutefocus #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching #selfcoachingtools #coachingtoolbox #coachingtools #wellbeing #selfcare #lifeworkbalance #balancecoaching #solutionsfocused #mentoring #mindfulleadership #personaldevelopment #mindfulnesstips #justbreathe #dothework #emotionalintelligence #meantalhealthtips #mentoring #scotlandsmallbusiness #edinburghbloggers #edinburghbusiness

  • Self-coaching: reality check

    Self-coaching: reality check

    To work towards a goal, it’s always useful to be clear about where you’re starting from. What does reality look like in relation to this goal? What are you building on?

    We’re never really starting from zero. When we stop and look closely we can take stock of the actions that we’ve taken so far, where those actions have taken us, and our perceptions of any obstacles or blockers that might be hindering further progress.

    Sometimes this reality check brings our goals into sharper focus, or might even help us identify that the goal is a little different from what we thought at first. For this reason it’s important to look at your present reality in great detail, although not in a judgemental way.

    Ten questions to explore your reality

    • What action have you taken so far?
    • What has been the effect of this action?
    • What is getting in the way?
    • On a scale of 1-10, where 10 is your goal, what number are you at?
    • What has brought you to this number?
    • What resources do you have? (skills, energy, support, time etc)
    • What other resources are needed?
    • What is your main concern here?
    • What are the risks?
    • What is your plan so far?

    Taking some time to think about how we feel about our progress in this journey can also be a powerful way to bring awareness to your thoughts, feelings and attitudes regarding this process. And some obvious paths forward may emerge as you examine your desired result and the action taken so far.

    Some people find it helpful to use a coaching wheel at this point to compare how they describe their current satisfaction levels in various aspects of their life and contrast this with where they’d like to get to. This is sometimes called the Balance Wheel and can help you identify priority areas to focus on.

    Whatever your process, once you’ve described your reality, use this to go back and finetune your goal.

    #selfcoaching #pauseandbreathe #reflect #fiveminutefocus #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching #selfcoachingtools #coachingtoolbox #coachingtools #wellbeing #selfcare #lifeworkbalance #balancecoaching #solutionsfocused #mentoring #mindfulleadership #personaldevelopment #mindfulnesstips #justbreathe #dothework #emotionalintelligence #meantalhealthtips #mentoring #scotlandsmallbusiness #edinburghbloggers #edinburghbusiness

  • Self-coaching: What are you working with?

    Self-coaching: What are you working with?

    As you start thinking about the coaching topic you intend to work through, it can be useful to take stock of what you’re working with. Each person brings different strengths and perspectives to a situation. Revisiting what are your values, strengths and motivations can be a good reminder of how you can harness what you love and what you’re good at to make progress in this task.

    • Values: Clarify and rank your values to get some important clues about what motivates you
    • Personality: Get to know your personality traits and how they can help or hinder you
    • Strengths: Make an inventory of your skills and competencies to highlight areas of strength and key gaps

    Where to start?

    There are lots of free resources out there that can help you start this work. Googling “personal values assessment”, “free Big 5 personality test” and “personal skills inventory” are all good places to start. They will each help you get closer to answering: What do I love and what am I good at?

    Try to answer any quizzes quickly and honestly, rather than how you think you ‘ought’ to answer. This way you’ll get a more realistic and usable profile of your traits, values and skills.

    You can use insights from these exercises to understand your attitudes and preferences and the way you like to do things.

    Reflection questions

    What do you know now about what you believe in and stand for, and what you’re good at?

    Where do you want to dig a little deeper?

    Is there anything that surprised you?

    How does this information affect the coaching topic you are exploring?

    Which of your values, strengths or traits does this goal most closely align to?

    Take it further

    If you are interested in digging deeper in this area, Simon Sinek’s Start With Why,  Brené Brown’s Braving the Wilderness and Dr Carol S. Dweck’s Mindset are all great places to start.

     

    #selfcoaching #pauseandbreathe #reflect #fiveminutefocus #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching #selfcoachingtools #coachingtoolbox #coachingtools #wellbeing #selfcare #lifeworkbalance #balancecoaching #solutionsfocused #mentoring #mindfulleadership #personaldevelopment #mindfulnesstips #justbreathe #dothework #emotionalintelligence #meantalhealthtips #mentoring #scotlandsmallbusiness #edinburghbloggers #edinburghbusiness

  • Self-coaching: exploring goals

    Self-coaching: exploring goals

    This short series on self-coaching will walk you through some ideas and tools that might help you explore some of the challenges you’re facing or tasks you’d like to accomplish.

    What are you working towards?

    A useful starting point is to spend time thinking about the topic you have in mind: articulating clearly what you’d like to achieve, the clues that will tell you you’ve been successful and what you stand to gain from doing this work. I’m offering here a few questions to explore your goal and where it sits in your overall plan.

    You might find it helpful to use your notebook or journal to write down your responses to these questions. I’d invite you to set a timer for 3-5 minutes for each question and open yourself to freewriting. Just write whatever comes into your mind as you reflect on what’s being asked. Breathe as you go and don’t stop. Your writing doesn’t have to be perfect or make sense – that comes later. Any time you feel like you’re drying up, write the question again and see what emerges. It’s often as you delve into the third or fourth round that some of the deeper, meaningful and more relevant stuff comes up.

    Once you’re finished, you might like to read back and highlight any key phrases or ideas that you captured, and even summarise or refine them as your mind becomes clear.

    Getting to SMART goals

    The aim at the end of the process is to articulate some SMART goals (google this if you’re not familiar) the clearly set out a specific goal that can be measured, is achievable, realistic and has a clear deadline. You’ll use this as an anchor throughout this self-coaching process.

    Goal reflection questions:

    1. What are you aiming for with this process?

    2. How will you know you are successful?

    3. How much energy do you have for this?

    4. What draws you to this topic?

    5. How will stretching in this way develop your abilities?

    6. Where does this piece fit into the whole?

    7. What does this build upon?

    8. How much influence or control do you have over this task?

    9. What would be the first milestone on the way?

    10. How will you reward yourself for succeeding?

    #selfcoaching

    #creatingawareness #wabisabi #energyflowswhereattentiongoes #reflect #pauseandbreathe #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching  #coachingtoolbox #coachingtools #wellbeing #selfcare #lifeworkbalance #balancecoaching #solutionsfocused #mentoring #mindfulleadership #personaldevelopment #mindfulnesstips #justbreathe #dothework #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealthtips #mentoring

    #scotlandsmallbusiness #edinburghbloggers #edinburghbusiness

  • Self coaching: create time & space

    Self coaching: create time & space

    First up for my short series on self coaching – creating the conditions to be successful.

    Just as you would for any other important project, it’s critical to allocate space and time for your coaching.

    1. SCHEDULE UNINTERRUPTED TIME
      I find it helpful to block out a good chunk of time in my calendar, and to know that for more challenging topics or projects, I’ll need to do this over a series of days to allow for reflection, exploring options and creating a realistic plan. I’ll also want to schedule time to check in on my progress, and very crucially, plan time to celebrate my achievement. Make sure this is a time when you won’t be interrupted.
    2. FIND A QUIET COMFORTABLE PLACE
      To do your best thinking, you need to feel relaxed and safe. Pick a spot where you can be warm, comfy and uninhibited. Think not just about the space, but also what you’re wearing and who else is around.
    3. BRING A NOTEBOOK, PENS & HIGHLIGHTERS
      A big part of coaching is externalising and making sense of what’s in your head, so get ready to take notes. There’s a magic that happens when you start writing down your thoughts and ideas, and a sense of accountability and making it real when the ink hits the paper. I like to have plenty of pens, pencils and even highlighters and tape to organise and emphasise my aha moments and key actions.
    4. HANG A ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ SIGN
      At least metaphorically, or if you have kids – literally! It’s really important to have space and time to really think. Sometimes you’ll find silence helpful, another time it might be non-stop writing, and it’s harder to do that when your focus is broken.
    5. SETTLE YOUR MIND
      Before you start, take some deep breaths to settle and focus your mind. Pay attention to how you are sitting and where you are holding tension. Breathe. If it helps, imagine your brain is like a recently shaken snow globe and breathe slowly as you watch the flakes gently settle to the bottom and the liquid gradually clear. Take some time to arrive at your task.

    #selfcoaching

    #creatingawareness #wabisabi #energyflowswhereattentiongoes #reflect #pauseandbreathe #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching #coachingtoolbox #coachingtools #wellbeing #selfcare #lifeworkbalance #balancecoaching #solutionsfocused #mentoring #mindfulleadership #personaldevelopment #mindfulnesstips #justbreathe #dothework #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealthtips #mentoring #scotlandsmallbusiness #edinburghbloggers #edinburghbusiness

  • “I wish I could have you on speed dial”

    “I wish I could have you on speed dial”

    This lovely quote I received from a coaching client in the education sector is something I hear quite often.

    The benefits of working with a coaching partner can be incredibly powerful – someone who can support you while you externalise and organise your thoughts, explore options to move forward and agree a plan of action, often helping hold you accountable for progress.

    While coaching is becoming more accessible and affordable, what can you do if it’s not something you are able to access at the moment?

    Over my next series of social posts, I’ll explore some ideas for self-coaching practices:

    🔥How to create a conducive time and space
    🔥 A simple and powerful coaching model to get you started
    🔥 Some tools that can be helpful to explore common topics such as balance, boundary setting, imposter syndrome, conflict and difficult conversations, dilemmas, and goal-setting

    Let me know if there are any topics you’d like to see covered and I’ll do my best 😊

    🔥

    If you’d prefer some 1:1 coaching to work through specific topics, I still have a couple of slots available in February and March for new Clarity Coaching clients. Get in touch for a complimentary discovery call to explore how this program can work for you.
    hello@campfirecoaching.co.uk

    #pauseandbreathe #reflect #fiveminutefocus #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching #selfcoaching #coachingtoolbox #coachingtools #wellbeing #selfcare #lifeworkbalance #balancecoaching #solutionsfocused #mentoring #mindfulleadership #personaldevelopment #mindfulnesstips #justbreathe #dothework #emotionalintelligence #meantalhealthtips #mentoring #scotlandsmallbusiness #edinburghbloggers #edinburghbusiness

  • Endings and beginnings

    Endings and beginnings

    Our final #fiveminutefocus practice combines the skills of pausing, noticing and engaging our senses without judgement. Simply tuning in to our present moment to create greater awareness and connection to ourselves.

    The invitation is to find a quiet five minutes with your journal – get comfortable, take a few slow deep breaths and think about your relationship with New Year’s Eve.

    • What does New Year’s Eve mean to you?

    • Are you looking forward or back?

    • Looking back, what moments are on your 2021 highlights reel?

    • Looking forward, how do you want to ‘be’ in 2022?

    All of the practices I shared this month can be done at any time of the year to help you find space to think, and increase your sense of calm and wellbeing, as well as your capacity to notice and engage with the hear and now. All of this can make you more productive and purposeful at work and in your personal relationships.

    Thank you for slowing down and sharing in these moments with me. If you have any questions – please get in touch.

    Wishing you a calm and focused 2022 🥂

    #fiveminutefocus

    #creatingawareness #wabisabi #energyflowswhereattentiongoes #reflect #pauseandbreathe #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching  #coachingtoolbox #coachingtools #wellbeing #selfcare #lifeworkbalance #balancecoaching #solutionsfocused #mentoring #mindfulleadership #personaldevelopment #mindfulnesstips #justbreathe #dothework #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealthtips #mentoring

    #scotlandsmallbusiness #edinburghbloggers #edinburghbusiness

  • On reflection

    On reflection

    As this program comes to a close, I invite you to get comfortable with your journal, take a few deep breaths and reflect on what you’ve learned over the past month about yourself. You might like to flick through any notes you’ve captured during the practices.

    What have your learned about yourself from this five minute focus program?

    What practices do you intend to take forward into 2022?

    Say thank you to yourself for committing to some or all of these practices, for being curious about what makes you tick, and for wanting to learn more about how to increase your connection to this present moment and increase your performance.

    #fiveminutefocus

    #creatingawareness #wabisabi #energyflowswhereattentiongoes #reflect #pauseandbreathe #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching  #coachingtoolbox #coachingtools #wellbeing #selfcare #lifeworkbalance #balancecoaching #solutionsfocused #mentoring #mindfulleadership #personaldevelopment #mindfulnesstips #justbreathe #dothework #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealthtips #mentoring

    #scotlandsmallbusiness #edinburghbloggers #edinburghbusiness

  • 2022: to be, to do

    2022: to be, to do

    As we move into the last three practices of this December Five Minute Focus, I’m offering a few exercises to help prepare for next year.

    A few weeks ago we reflected on the power of intention setting in directing your energy and interest towards what you want to experience and achieve.

    The invitation today is to apply this to 2022.

    Get your journal and get comfortable. Take a few slow deep breaths and close your eyes, thinking about what success twelve months from now might look like.

    🔥 What experiences do you want to have?

    🔥 Who would you like to connect with?

    🔥 Which places would you like to explore or books to read, films to watch, theatre to enjoy?

    🔥 How would you like to show up at work, in your home and in your significant relationships.

    You may find it helpful to use a coaching wheel to reflect on the various aspects of your life and set some goals.

    Try to identify clear ways that you will know you’ve made progress towards these goals – and the first small step for each.

    #fiveminutefocus

    #creatingawareness #wabisabi #energyflowswhereattentiongoes #reflect #pauseandbreathe #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching  #coachingtoolbox #coachingtools #wellbeing #selfcare #lifeworkbalance #balancecoaching #solutionsfocused #mentoring #mindfulleadership #personaldevelopment #mindfulnesstips #justbreathe #dothework #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealthtips #mentoring

    #scotlandsmallbusiness #edinburghbloggers #edinburghbusiness